


keep the wolf back from the door (he wanders closer every time)

by Ultron



Category: Sicario (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-05-01 04:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5192801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultron/pseuds/Ultron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate Macer knows that healing is a long, hard process but she's getting there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. heart made full of fright

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so the summary sucks and I need to fix it later. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about Kate's healing process and then I was thinking a lot about what if Alejandro ever got injured or killed working with the CIA. So this just came to me. I'm thinking I might make it a chapter fic but I also might just keep it a oneshot cause I'm not like 100% sure where I would go with a chapter fic. I don't know yet though; if you all think this could go into a chapter fic tell me. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! Feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> The title of this fic comes from "The Wolf" by Mumford and Sons.

**2 month later**

Kate Macer moved to a small town. Just like he’d suggested.

She’d constantly fought back and forth with herself about whether she should’ve but in the end decided it would be for the best. At first, it felt like giving up but she was starting to feel it took more strength to try and start over than to keep wallowing in alcohol and cigarettes and fear.

She hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep since he’d been in her apartment. Sometimes her own screaming would wake her from her nightmares and she’d grab the gun beside her bed and just sit there, pointing it toward the door. Half expecting it to be the cartel, half expecting it to be _him_.

For the first few weeks she tried to hold herself together but eventually it began showing more. It was affecting her work, her attitude, her body. She always felt draggy or jumpy and, after an incident where she pointed her weapon at a team member who had startled her by touching her on the shoulder from behind, the FBI felt it was best for her to take some leave.

They suggested she see a therapist but the last thing she was going to do was tell someone what happened at the border, or in the tunnel or in her apartment. Either someone who didn’t want it known or her own paranoia would kill her if she did.

Once during her leave she contemplated suicide. She twisted the gun around in her hands and had even put it under her chin. But the action just made her think of that day. _You’d be committing suicide, Kate._

That’s when Kate decided she was going to change her life. Because damned if she would let him take anything else away from her, especially her life.

So, it was after that that she began searching for a new place to live. When she told Reggie of her plans he didn’t need to ask her why; he knew better than anyone how far those events had pushed her. He did give her that worried look that he always gave her; the same one that she saw when he visited her after she had signed the papers, the one he gave her on the day she slowly started falling apart.

Most of his worry came from the fact that he didn’t want Kate so far away he couldn’t check on her. So he helped her pick out a nice neighborhood in a small town an hour and a half drive away. 

They packed on a Saturday morning and as she was waiting for Reggie to pick her up Kate took one last look at the now barren apartment. She’d never had good memories there. She’d moved there after her divorce and it had always felt so empty. She’d been attacked in there and after that had never brought another man into it. Most importantly a part of her had died there, the part of her that held her strength. Hopefully leaving this place would give her a chance to get it back.

The drive to her house had been peaceful. Mostly just her and Reggie exchanging idle chit chat about her new home and work and when he would visit her again.

It didn’t take long for the moving company to get all her furniture in her house, probably because she didn’t have too much. Reggie helped her with some decorating and organizing and it was about 6 at night when they finished.

She walked him to the door and he turned around to give her a hug before he left. “I’ll see you this weekend, ok?”

“Ok,” she said. Then she laid her head against his shoulder. She felt like she could cry but held it in. “Thanks, Reggie.”

He gave her a small pat on the back. “It’s gonna be ok, Kate. It’s gonna be ok.”

After he left, Kate turned to look around her new home and let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. It would take time to adjust but she finally had a clean slate. 

She wiped her eyes as a few tears began to fall. For the first time since she lowered her gun on the balcony, life didn’t feel so hopeless.

**5 months later**

It had been three months since her move and Kate still hadn’t interacted much with her neighbors, except for sweet Ms. Keyes who lived right beside her. Ms. Keyes constantly checked up on Kate and would even invite her over for dinner once a week. Kate could tell she was curious about her past but she was also nice enough to not ask, which Kate really appreciated.

Ms. Keyes always kept watch around Kate’s house when she wasn’t there which oddly enough helped Kate stay a little more calm. At least she knew that there was some chance, however slim, that if anyone tried to sneak into her house Ms. Keyes might see them and call the police.

One morning Kate was out smoking on her back patio when Ms. Keyes ran up to the fence. “Katie, a car just pulled up in your drive and someone’s getting out...oh it’s just Reggie though. Sorry about that.”

Kate gave her a small smile as she put out her cigarette. “It’s ok, Ms. Keyes. I appreciate you looking out for my house.”

“Well you’re welcome Katie. I’m glad to do it. We sometimes get a few rough people driving through our little neighborhood so you can never be too careful.”

Kate nodded in agreement; she knew better than anyone about never being too careful. She actually had a gun on her anytime she went outside because she was still a little paranoid that someone was coming to kill her.

At that time she heard Reggie knocking and so she headed into the house, opened the door, and greeted him with a hug. “Hey, Reggie.”

“Hey,” he began. “You doing ok?”

She nodded as she headed into her kitchen. She grabbed two beers from the fridge and sat down the couch as Reggie joined her. “Yeah, I’m alright.” 

“How’s work?”

Kate took a swig of her drink before speaking. “It’s work. I show up; I get paid.”

Kate had gotten a job working as a sales associate at the town's local retail store. It was a complete waste of her skills but it was job and she had to pay bills. Her boss has even told her that she was overqualified. She asked if Kate had given any thought to working for the police or even a security guard at the jail but Kate just told him she wanted something low maintenance. What it really was was that she didn’t trust herself to be around all that just yet.

Reggie just nodded. He knew Kate hated her job, that deep down she would give anything to do something that she felt was making a difference if only the last time she had tried that hadn’t almost destroyed her. So he changed the subject. “So what are we up this weekend?”

“Well, I know one thing, no bars.”

Reggie had taken to her to a bar last week, the first time she’d been to one since the whole incident with Ted. At first Kate was hesitant but she knew Reggie was right when he said that she needed to get back out there, maybe find a date.

So they went but it didn’t last long. The minute Kate stepped in she was overwhelmed. The bright lights. The loud music. The large crowds of people who could be hiding an assassin. It all suffocated her like two hands were clamped around her neck. When she started panicking, Reggie quickly got her out of their and they spend the rest of the night at her house.

“Yeah no bars,” agreed Reggie. He paused for a moment as he looked around her house. Then an idea struck him. “We should go furniture shopping.”

Kate just stared at him. “Furniture shopping? Really?”

Reggie motioned around the living room. “Come on, Kate. This place is so empty. You need to add a couple of things. Make it more homey.”

Kate looked around the room. A TV. A couch. A chair. A floor lamp. A coffee table. She sighed. “Ok, let’s go furniture shopping.”

So off they headed to the local furniture store. As they pulled into the parking lot, they noticed a small stand set up near the door that said “Free Kittens.”

Reggie parked his vehicle and turned to Kate. “You should get a cat.”

“Why?” asked Kate.

“Because, Kate, cats are good company and relatively low maintenance. Or at least lower maintenance than a dog. I mean you like animals right?”

Kate nodded. She did like animals, had pets all her time growing up, but living in an apartment was not a good place for one. Now that she had a house she did have the space for one. And like Reggie said they were good company. Maybe a pet would make her house feel like more than just a building for her to sleep in. Maybe it’d become more like a home.

“Let’s go look at them,” she said.

So they headed over to them and saw an older Hispanic women with two small boys who must have been her grandchildren. They watched Kate and Reggie approach and the woman spoke up. “Would you like one?”

Kate was immediately drawn to a dark brown kitten with the biggest brown eyes. She reached down to stroke it’s head and listened as it purred. 

“Su nombre es Alejandro,” said one of the boys.

The minute the word hit Kate’s ears she froze. The grandmother must have believed that Kate didn’t understand the child because she said, “The boys, they named all of them. He said that one is named Alejandro.”

Kate immediately pulled her hand away from the kitten as if touching it had burned her. That name. That _fucking_ name. It’d been 5 months since she’d heard that name, refused to ever say it, and yet it still held such power over her. She could see him sitting in the shadows of her kitchen, feel him wiping her tears away, hear his voice telling her she wasn’t a wolf.

She slowly felt that she was about to panic but Reggie began petting her back. “It’s ok, Kate.”

So she took a deep breath and shook her head. He wasn’t there. He couldn’t hurt her. Still when she looked at the kitten, she couldn’t help but picture him.

They decided to take Reggie’s favorite: a orange colored cat named Ignacio or Nacho for short.

**8 months later**

The healing process was slow, she knew that, but she was finally starting to feel better. Her house felt like a home, just her and Nacho. She had gotten a promotion at work and she had gotten involved with helping Ms. Keyes around her house. For once, Kate almost felt totally at peace.

So there she sat on her back patio, smoking a cigarette as she watched the sunset. She’d just gotten back from work but she always liked to watch the sunset. Nacho sat in her lap, clearly happy to have her back for the night.

“Oh Katie you’re home!”

Kate jumped a little at the sound and Nacho leaped out of her lap and made a run for the open backdoor. She turned her head and saw Ms. Keyes poking up from the other side of the fence. “Hi, Ms. Keyes.”

“Hey, Katie. I guess you’re just getting back from work?”

Kate nodded. “Yep.”

“Oh well good. I had something to tell you about today. A man stopped by my house and was asking if you lived there. I told him that you lived the next house over.”

Kate paused with her cigarette almost touching her lips and a chill ran down her spine. Only two things could come to mind about a man looking for her. “Wh-what did this man look like?”

Ms. Keyes thought for a moment. “Well he was a Mexican man, had an accent. I must say he looked a little rough. Said he was an old friend of yours from work.”

Suddenly the world felt like it was spinning but Kate couldn’t move. A friend from work. Why was _he_ there? Why now? 

The sound of Nacho purring broke her from her trance. He only purred when she petted him. 

Kate jumped up, ready to pull her gun but thought better with Ms. Keyes standing there. The idea of having Ms. Keyes call the police passed her mind but Kate didn’t feel like getting the older woman involved.

Ms. Keyes must have noticed Kate’s change in behavior. “Katie, are you ok? You look a little pale. Would you like some water?”

Kate just shook her head. “No, I’m fine Ms. Keyes. I think I just heard something fall. Nacho’s probably jumping on the table so I should go see about him.”

“Ok well have a good night, Katie. I’m probably going to head back in too.”

Kate waited until she heard Ms. Keyes backdoor shut before she pulled her gun and quietly stepped into her house.

The minute she entered the dark room he spoke. “You have a sweet cat, Kate.”

She immediately turned toward the sound of his voice and saw his shadowy form sitting on her couch, gently petting a sleepy Nacho. Alejandro Gillick.

“Don’t think I won’t shoot this time,” were the first words out of her mouth.

“I’m not here to hurt you, Kate,” he began standing up, “Besides I don’t think I could really fight you as well as before.”

About that time he stepped out of the shadows and the first thing she noticed was a fresh thing of scars on the right side of his face. Then as she looked him over she noticed how his right shirt sleeve just seemed to dangle.

“You’re arm…” she began when it finally hit her.

“Gone.”

Kate couldn’t help but stare at it a moment before regaining herself and holding the gun back up. “Doesn’t mean you can’t pull a gun.”

Alejandro chuckled. “Clever as always, Kate.” He then reached behind him and pulled a gun from behind his back. He gently placed it on the coffee table and pushed it toward her. It slide swiftly around the glass and landed with a clank at her feet.

“I said I’m not here to hurt you.”

For some reason, Kate felt like she could believe him but she still didn’t put her gun down. Instead she used it to motion to his arm. “How’d it happen?”

He looked down at it. “An ambush in a tunnel in Mexico. We were given some bad information and they threw a grenade in there. I was lucky my arm was all that was blown off.”

Kate was silent a moment before she asked, “Was Matt with you?”

Alejandro nodded. “Yes but he was in a different location. He was just fine.”

“Damn and here I thought karma would finally catch up to him,” she said.

“I’m sure it will. I felt it almost did for me,” he began, “I felt like I was going to die.”

There was silence for a moment as he was replaying the events in his head.

“I saw you,” he said looking back at her. “As I lay there bleeding, so numb I couldn’t feel the pain, I saw _you_. Oh all the people who could possibly appear to me at such a time, it was Kate Macer. Not Eva or Maria but you. All I could think about while I was recovering was why.”

Kate didn’t know what to say so she just spoke the first thing on her mind. “Why are you here?”

“I needed an answer,” he said after a pause.

“What’s the question?” she asked.

Alejandro didn’t respond. He just starting approaching her and she held her gun tighter. “Take another step and I’ll shoot you.”

“No, you won’t,” he said as he kept approaching her. She kept backing away from him as he got closer until her back was against the wall. She was about to start shaking but tried to keep it together. 

“I promise I will,” she said and about that time he walked straight up to her gun and let the barrel hit his chest.

He stared down into her eyes and said, “You won’t.”

“Why? Because I’m weak?” she said, her tone lined with anger and mockery.

“No,” he began, “because you think I am.”

The stood like that for a moment as Kate just stared into his eyes. She should hate him, she should pull the trigger until every single bullet was in his body but he was right, she couldn’t. Because looking into his eyes for the first time she wasn’t afraid of him. She felt sorry for him. His eyes didn’t look cold like they had before. They were filled with emotions, ones he was trying to hide but just couldn’t.

Alejandro had spent all his time trying to become a wolf that he must have forgotten he was human. And the realization was obviously killing him because being human meant he could get hurt and getting hurt made you weak and the last thing he wanted to be was weak.

Kate could have almost laughed. Just as she was regaining her strength he was losing his. Karma.

So she gently lowered her gun but her eyes never left his. He gave her a soft grin as he rose his hand toward her. Her first reaction was to flinch away but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her do it. 

“I’m glad you’re not a wolf, Kate,” he began as she felt his calloused fingers brush against her cheek to push a piece of stray hair behind her ear. “Too many of them die in the wild.”

Then he started to lean in toward her and for a second Kate felt as if he was going to kiss her. She didn't know why, perhaps it was just her body reacting before her head, but she closed her eyes, half wanting him to.

Instead he leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I’ll see you soon, Kate.” With that he then gently kissed her cheek and headed out the door.

His words hadn’t sounded like a threat but a promise and as a confused Kate gently touched the spot where his lips had been, it was one she secretly hoped he would keep.


	2. tracers in the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I decided to continue this. I only have like a 70% idea where this is even going but I still hope you all will enjoy it. This next chapter doesn't really have much happening but the next chapter will. This is kinda just something to hold you all over, whet your appetites, give me a chance to say it's continuing, etc. Anyway, hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> Also i don't know if i explained this before but the "x days or months later" part means from the previous chapter (or in the first chapter's case the end of the movie) not from the section before it. Like where this one says 10 days later it's 10 days from the previous chapter not 10 days after the 3 days later section. Meaning that this chapter overall takes place over 17 days not 30. Does that make sense? Yes? No? Maybe? Oh well.

**3 days later**

Kate didn’t sleep that night or the next or the next. Every time she’d closed her eyes she’d see Alejandro sitting in her living room, petting Nacho as if he’d been best friends with the cat forever. It certainly was a much different dream than the ones she normally had about him, ones where he’d appear in her house like a phantom and then proceed to shoot her straight through the heart, but it still bothered her enough to keep her from sleeping.

She couldn’t help but wonder why that was. For some reason something felt different between them from the moment he stepped into the light and revealed himself to her. Maybe it was because it was in that moment, looking him in the face after almost a year, that she finally realized that she wasn’t afraid of him. She’d built him up to be a monster in her head but in the end he was truly human. Just like her.

Kate couldn’t help but think back to when he leaned in to kiss her cheek. For whatever reason her heart skipped a beat before he did it and she honestly hated herself for it. To even feel a little bit of attraction toward that psycho made her think she needed to be locked away in a mental institution. More than likely though it wasn’t a real attraction; it was just her needing to get laid.

She brought the topic up to Reggie when he visited the following weekend, though she was careful to not mention Alejandro. The two of them were sitting on her couch, drinking, some random cooking show playing in the background. Nacho was curled up asleep in her lap.

“I need to meet someone.”

Reggie just looked at her, eyebrow raised in curiosity. “Really? What brings this up?”

She shrugged as she took another sip. “I don’t know. Hormones?”

“So you just want someone for a night or someone you could date?”

Kate sighed. “Dating sounds nice but I don’t know if I’m ready to handle that yet.”

“Come on,” began Reggie, “Kate I think you’re doing a whole lot better than you were a few months ago. Maybe start with something simple. No bars of course but maybe one of those mixer things in like hotel lobbies or something.”

Kate couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re serious?”

Reggie shook his head. “I am. Kate you’d probably get a hundred men to ask you out at one of those. I mean you’d have to wear something other than tee-shirts and change out those bras for something a little sexier but-”

She playfully jabbed him in the side and the two of them just laughed before returning to their drinks.

**10 days later**

She shouldn’t have come here. That’s what she decided as she looked around the crowded hotel ballroom. 

Kate couldn’t believe she actually took Reggie’s advice but she just kept thinking that maybe it would be good for her to get out and interact with people other than customers she had to be nice to, her co-workers, and her cat. 

She gently tugged at the hem of the dress Reggie suggested she’d wear, feeling too exposed in it even though it was pretty modest compared to some people she saw walking around. For some reason she couldn’t help but feel a shiver up her spine whenever a man looked at her; for some reason all of their eyes suddenly felt like Alejandro’s.

She spun in her stool so that her back faced the crowd and stared down into her drink. Of course the small bar was the first place she hit when she arrived; she thought a drink might mellow her out. So far it hasn’t though.

She took another swig and suddenly she felt a hand laid against the small of her back. Her mind immediately screamed danger and without thinking she snapped around and twist said hand.

“Ah!” came the shout from the man she’s grabbed. She looked at his nametag, his name on top, occupation on bottom: Daniel, Lawyer. He’d walked over there to try and buy her a drink.

She quickly let go of his hand, an apology forming in her head but not able to come out of her mouth. A simple “sorry” was all that she could get out.

Daniel didn’t say anything else to her directly. He just looked at her with disgust and as he walked away she heard him mumbling “fucking crazy bitch”.

Kate could feel everyone looking at her and she quickly came to the realization that this was a bad idea. The room felt like it was closing in around her and it felt like she was suffocating. It was exactly the same feeling she had when she’d went to a bar the first time after the Ted incident. Reggie wasn’t here to help her remain calm though so like a deer hearing a gunshot she bolted out of the hotel.

Standing on the sidewalk, leaning against the side of the building, Kate decided to light up a cigarette. She put the cigarette in her mouth and pulled out her lighter but for whatever reason she was still shaking a little and just couldn’t get the damn thing to light up.

“Need help, Kate?”

Kate immediately jerked her head around and saw Alejandro standing a few feet away, looking at her as if there wasn’t anything strange about this situation.

But to Kate everything was strange about this. She wondered why he was there, how he got there, should she try to run off, and a million other things. She did remember that he said he’d see her again though.

A part of her wishes she had her gun with her but she’s about ninety-nine percent sure that he won’t try anything on a crowded street. The whole reason he’s a good hitman is because he doesn’t draw attention to himself. 

She assumed that how he’d followed her so well without her noticing. Or maybe she was becoming less vigilant; she really hoped it was the former.

He walked closer to her and she just watched him as he did. When he got up beside her he said, “I can light it for you.”

Kate couldn’t help but look over at his other sleeve, gently flopping against him.

“It doesn’t take two hands to light someone else’s cigarette,” he began and immediately she turned her eyes out toward the road in front of her, a little embarrassed.

“I don’t need your help,” she began and then proceeded to light the cigarette herself.

Her eyes stay locked on the cars that roll by but out of the corner of them she watched as he leaned against the building beside her. She continued to smoke, never saying a word, but she feels he probably preferred the silence anyway.

Of course Kate was still a little on edge with him being there, carefully watching his every movement, but for some reason there was a peaceful air to this whole scene. For a moment she considered asking him why he was even there but she knew if she asked she wouldn’t get a straight answer so she kept to the silence.

The night dragged on and yet neither of them showed any sign of leaving that spot. Kate certainly didn’t want to be the first to leave for fear that he might follow her to the parking garage her car was in and kill her there. Why he was sticking around is a mystery to her.

Eventually though the cold desert night was getting to be too much so Kate decided to head back into the hotel and wait in the lobby until she felt confident he was gone or she’d just get a room until morning when she knew everywhere would be too busy for him to try anything.

So she threw her cigarette to the ground, stomped it out, and proceeded to put the lighter in her hand back in her purse.

She didn’t realize that in her rush she actually dropped it though.

Alejandro glanced over at where it lay on the sidewalk. He stepped over and picked it up then looked up to see if she'd entered the hotel yet. 

She had and so he just shook his head and pocketed the lighter before headed off back down the street.

**17 days later**

It was a week later before he contacted her again, though this time it wasn’t face-to-face.

Kate was coming home late from a day at work and all she wanted to do was get a drink, prop her feet up, and cuddle with Nacho. Sadly, it was the time of the month when she decided to get all her bills paid up. 

She went to her mailbox to get the mail and make sure there are no other bills in it and that’s when she found it. Sitting on top of all her other letters was her lighter with a note attached to it.

She looked up and down the street, wary that he was close, before she actually took the lighter out and read the note.

It simple said:  
 _Smoking’s a bad habit._

Kate stared at it for a moment, as if there was some hidden meaning in the words. Finding none, she just sighed, crumbled the note up, and tossed it into the road.

If only getting rid of him were such as simple an action as that.


	3. baying for blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who leaves comments and kudos on this! It means a lot to me! Anyway here this the 3rd chapter which I hope you all enjoy. It focuses mostly on Kate rather than Kate and Alejandro (though he appears of course). Later chapters will include more interactions between the two of them but I'm thinking about making a spinoff story for Alejandro's side of things during all these same time frames. Would you guys be interesting in reading that?

**6 days later**  
It was days like this that Kate wished she had a more exciting job. It was a slow Tuesday night and the only people in the store were Kate, another employee, and a young couple who had decided that nine at night was as good a time as any to pick up groceries. 

Kate couldn’t help but think back to some of her Tuesdays at work before: busting down doors, handling hostage situations, shooting at bad men. It was certainly the opposite of stocking cleaners on shelves, scanning and bagging a thousand items per day, and running around the maze of aisles trying to find something specific for a customer who hadn’t bothered to look in the first place.

Still, it’s not to say that this job didn’t have upsides. She didn’t have to see dead bodies, didn’t have bullets flying at her, didn’t have to deal with people who were literally evil personified. With that in mind, Kate decided she shouldn’t be complaining and just continued to stock the box of lotions in her hand.

“Hey, Kate,” began her co-worker Mel, “Can I go take a smoke break?”

Kate looked around the store and watched as the couple slowly pushed their cart down the pet food aisle. She could handle running this place alone for a few minutes. 

So she nodded at him. “Sure.”

As Mel went out the door, Kate headed to the register to keep watch. She absentmindedly began adjusting the boxes of candy around the front, thinking about how much longer it’d be until she could go home, soak in the tub, and curl up with Nacho. She had the next two days off so if she could just get through this night she’d have some time to relax, maybe even have Reggie come up.

The sound of the sliding doors brought Kate away from her thoughts. She turned around, about to ask Mel how he smoked so quickly, but what she saw surprised her.

A young, twitchy man in a ski mask stood in front of her with a gun to Mel’s head. Mel was shaking in fear, his lit cigarette still held between his fingers. “Kate…” he whispered.

“Shut it,” shouted the man as he pressed the cold metal closer to Mel’s head. He then turned his focus to Kate. When he looked her in the eyes, she made note that his were blue, his pupils huge, and from what she could see of the skin around them he was white. Pale eyelashes told her he was probably blond as well.

“Get up and lock this door!” he began. “Understand?”

Kate nodded, slowly stood up, keeping her hands where he could see them, and proceeded to walk toward the door. She turned the automatic opening then pulled the doors together and locked them. She turned back around and that’s when she noticed the couple standing in the aisle staring in disbelief at the scene in front of them. 

She guessed that the robber hadn’t noticed them until he followed her gaze. They froze in fear when he turned the gun to them but still kept his arms around Mel’s neck. He didn’t even look back at Kate when he gave her another order.

“W-Walk over to the register. If you press an alarm, then I’ll shoot these two through the head. I swear I will.”

So Kate slowly made her way to the register as he tossed a sack onto it. “Put the money in it. Then come unlock the door, hand me the money, and I’ll be on my way. No one gets hurts.”

As Kate filled the bag she looked over at the young couple, who were holding each other’s hands, the boy putting himself between the gun and the girl. Then she looked over at Mel whose eyes were closed as he mumbled a silent prayer to himself. 

Kate didn’t know why but every part of her body was telling her she needed to act. She needed to protect these people and stop this man. She hadn’t felt such a feeling since her days with the FBI, since the day she stood in that room and decided to join up with Matt thinking that doing so would help her make a difference.

So the minute the man walked out the door, Kate ran to the break room, grabbed her gun from her bag, and followed him out the door.

“Call the police!” she shouted to a still shaky Mel.

When she was outside she quickly looked around the parking lot to see if the man was still there. That’s when she noticed him sitting in a beat-up four door, trying his hardest to get it started. Kate decided she wouldn’t give him the chance to get away as she shot out the front tires.

He quickly looked up at her, completely surprised by the action.

“Slowly step out of the vehicle,” said Kate, “The police have been contacted."

But of course, criminals never listen. The man quickly bolted from the front seat and started off through the parking lot to the sidewalk. Without thinking Kate followed after him.

She could feel her heart pumping, the adrenaline flowing through her veins. Memories of busting down doors, handling hostage situations, shooting at bad men all come to mind. Memories that feel like they were another life.

Suddenly the memories went away when Kate heard a gunshot. She looked up and noticed the thief trying to shoot at her as they ran. He fired off two more rounds but none of them came close. Kate contemplated firing at him but knew it probably would just be a waste of a bullet.

He obviously didn’t care about wasting his bullets when he fired another. Kate winced when it grazed her arm. She could feel the blood seeping into her sleeve, dripping down arm, but she just clenched her jaw and sped up trying to get closer to him.

Just as he turned to the sidewalk she noticed he tensed up to a stop, throwing his hands in the air. Kate wondered what had caused his sudden halt but when she turned the corner she saw it.

Alejandro stood in front of the man, gun cocked and pointed at his head, so calm as if this was just part of his daily routine. 

The first thing through Kate’s mind was why was he there but she wondered why she even questioned that anymore. She remembered how he’d found her at that hotel so how hard would it be to find her at work. He’d probably been no more than a few feet away from her since the day he returned.

“You took something that doesn’t belong to you,” he began. “Kindly return it.”

The man quickly turned around to see if he could escape the way he came up Kate raised her gun up at him to show him he was trapped unless he wanted to risk running into the street. So he just turned back around to face Alejandro.

Alejandro looked from the man then over to Kate. She couldn’t help but feel her heart skip a beat whenever his brown eyes met her hazel ones. It wasn’t one of fear really but something about the way he looked at her made her feel a little off. She thought for a moment she had seen a trace of a soft smile on his face.

Then he looked over at her arm and immediately his expression changed from calm to agitation. “Did he shoot you?” he asked.

Kate was a bit surprised by the mix of anger and concern in his voice but still she nodded.

He then looked back at the man, who by now was looking at Alejandro like a deer in headlights. Then, without warning, he fired a shot into the man’s leg. Kate couldn’t help but jump a little, the image of when he shot her in the chest coming to her mind.

“Son of bitch!” the man shouted as he fell to the ground.

Kate looked up at Alejandro and the two of them just stared at each other for a moment. She opened her mouth to ask what he was doing there and why he had done that but was stopped by the sound of police sirens.

Knowing that the police would definitely pull over when they saw the bleeding man on the street and two people with guns to him, Alejandro put his behind his back and coolly started making his way past her.

“Maybe you should rethink your career, Kate,” he whispered as he walked past her. “You were meant for more than this.”

The moment the words let his mouth, Kate could feel a fury rising in her. Of course she knew she was meant for more than this- this shit. She wanted to scream and hit him and tell him that he was the reason she was even here. That he was the reason she’d stopped doing something that matter.

“Wait,” she began as she turned to grab his arm but all she felt was the fabric of his sleeve gently floating through her hands. She wanted to go after him but the police sirens only got closer so she moved herself in front of the man. She looked down the sidewalk to see if she could see Alejandro but the only thing there was darkness.

 **7 days later**  
It was midnight, the start of another day, when Kate was sitting in the break room waiting to be interviewed. The police had asked her, Mel, and the young couple to hang around to make statements and get checked by the ambulance.

Kate absentmindedly tapped on the table until the door opened. She turned her head and noticed saw a man entering the room. He was Hispanic, probably around her age, and he was dressed in a nice suit.

“Hello, ma’am,” he began as he took a seat in front of her. “I’m here to get your statement. I’m Detective Eduardo Vega.” He held his hand out for her to shake.

Kate shook it. “Kate Macer.”

“Well Ms. Macer,” began Vega, “Why don’t you start at the beginning.”

“Okay,” began Kate, “Well a little after nine o’clock my coworker, Melvin Kelly, went to take a smoke break so I went to the register to keep watch. I was adjusting the candy boxes around the front, my back to the door, when the suspect entered with his gun pointed at Mel. He told me to lock the door, which I did. It was then that the couple that was in here came toward the front and he decided to point his gun at them before telling me to go to the register and put the money into the sack that he brought.”

“You didn’t press the alarm by the register then?”

Kate shook her head. “No, he told me that he would shoot the couple if I did. So I filled the bag with the money and then let him go like he wanted.”

“Then you went after him.”

Kate nodded. “Yes I did.”

“Why’d you have a gun?” asked Vega.

“I’m licensed for concealed carry. I used to be part of the FBI.”

Vega raised his brow in curiosity. “You were part of the FBI?”

“Yes. Up until a little over a year ago,” said Kate.

“Why’d you quit?”

Kate was silent for a moment as she thought back to the bodies hanging from the bridge, the shootout at the border, Ted attacking her in her apartment, Alejandro shooting her in the chest, Matt beating her outside the tunnel, her signing the papers that would ruin her life.

_You’re not a wolf and this is the land of wolves now._

“I wanted a simpler life,” she lied.

Vega just chuckled. “Didn’t really get that tonight did you?”

“I guess not,” said Kate with a soft chuckle of her own.

“So you grab your gun and chase after him. What happened next?”

“Well he was trying to get his car started but it wasn’t working so I shot the tires out to make sure he couldn’t get away. I calmly told him to get out of the car slowly but he bolted so I pursued him.”

“Is that when he shot you?” asked Vega as he pointed to her now bandaged arm.

Kate gently ran her fingers over it. “Yeah, that’s when he shot me. He fired three shots as he was running but only one grazed me.”

Vega nodded as he jotted a few notes down. “Okay, okay. Now what can you tell me about another man with a gun?”

Kate froze. “Wh-what?”

“The suspect said that when he reached the sidewalk the was another man with a gun. A Mexican man, thick accent, one arm. Said he shot him in the leg.”

Kate thought for a moment about her next move. This was her chance to tell someone about Alejandro, to have people looking for him and arresting him and getting him out of her life if only for a little while. She could say he was stalking her, say he’d almost tried to kill her before, but in the end she said none of those things. She told herself that it was because she was scared of what he’d do to her but deep down she knew she couldn’t use that lie anymore. She’d stopped being afraid of him. So why she didn’t rat him out was a mystery to her.

“Well,” began Kate slowly, “He must have been imaging things. I was the one who shot him in the leg.”

Vega studied her for a moment. “So no one else was there?”

Kate shook her head. “No one.”

“Hmmm…” began Vega. He was looking Kate straight in the eye, trying to see if she would reveal any hint of a lie, but she remained firm and he just smiled. “Well, we did find drug paraphernalia in his car and he’s acting kinda tweaked out so maybe it was just a hallucination.”

“Maybe it was.”

Vega leaned back in his chair as his smile grew. “You know it’s hard to believe you were in the FBI. Not because you’re a woman or anything but why would you work in a place like this after leaving the FBI?”

“I told you,” began Kate, “A simpler life.”

Vega just shook his head as he stood up from his seat, the grin still on his face. “To each his own I guess. However,” He pulled out a business card and held it out to her. “we could use people like you on the force. If you ever want a change of scenery, give me a ring. Might be a spot open for you.”

Kate took the card and stared at it for a moment before looking back up at him. “Is that all you needed?”

Vega just nodded. “Yep.” As he started toward the door, Kate started to follow and then he suddenly turned around. 

“Actually, Ms. Macer,” he began, “there is one more thing…Would you want to go out to dinner sometime?”

 **8 days later**  
“So this detective asked you out after giving you an interview?” Reggie just shook his head. “Wow, Kate you sure attract a weird bunch.”

The two of them were sitting on her patio, drinking and catching up on her last day off work that week.

“It was a little surprising,” began Kate, “but I doubt he’s the weirdest of the bunch. I don’t think he’d try to kill me during sex.”

Reggie took a swig. “Yeah, I guess that’s probably true. So what’d you say?”

“That I’d think about it.”

“And what are you thinking?”

Kate shrugged as she grabbed her bottle. “I don’t know. I might give it a shot. But I’ve got something else on my mind beside dating right now.”

“What?” asked Reggie.

Kate was quiet for a moment until she turned to him and asked, “Do you think I should get another job?”

“You been thinking about another job?”

Kate sighed. “I hadn’t really been thinking about it until this. But now…I don’t know. I feel that maybe I’m not doing what I was meant to.”

Reggie set his drink down and put his cold hand on her knee. “Look, Kate, don’t worry about what you’re meant to do. Do what you need to do. I saw you after…that mess. If you don’t feel like getting back into that world yet, then don’t. There’s nothing wrong with wanting things to stay simple. At least for a little while.”

Kate smiled at him and put her hand over his. “Thanks Reggie.”

*******

Later that night after Reggie had left, Kate sat on her couch with Nacho in her lap and the news droning on in the background. In her hand she twirled around Detective Vega’s business card.

_You were meant for more than this._

_Why would you work in a place like this after leaving the FBI?_

_Don’t worry about what you’re mean to do. Do what you need to do._

The words floated through her head again and again as she looked over at her phone laying on the table beside her.

Protecting people had always meant so much to her but could she really get back out there and do it without getting frozen by memories of the past? Was she ready for a return to a big part of her old life?

She grabbed her phone and stared at the reflection in the screen for a moment. Then she looked back at the business card in her other hand. 

She took deep breath.

She dialed the number.


	4. chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so I feel bad for having you all on hold for all these months and so technically this is only half of the next chapter but I've decided just to break it up into two chapters so this can hopefully hold you all over until I finish the next part.
> 
> Enjoy!

**5 days later**  
“I can’t believe you accepted my offer, Ms. Macer” began Detective Vega.

“Well, I needed a change, Detective” said Kate.

“So is it a good change?” he asked.

Kate nodded. “So far…but let’s see how the rest of the night goes.”

Sitting in a small diner, Kate munched on a fry from the plate in front of her. When she called Vega to accept his offer for a date, he’d been a bit surprised. Honestly, Kate was a little surprised that she’d done it herself. But she was in desperate need of a date and for some reason she felt an attraction to the detective. Whether it was genuine or just her need for a human connection again was yet to be seen but so far Kate was enjoying their date.

Vega had decided to take them to a little diner not far from the station. From the outside it didn’t look like somewhere anyone would want to set foot in but Vega promised that this book couldn’t be judged by its cover and despite its rundown appearance the inside was clean and the burgers were the best around town. And when Kate took that first bite, she immediately had to agree.

“So how did the interview at the shooting range go this morning?”

Kate had applied to be an instructor at a shooting range about 15 minutes away from her house. She didn’t think she could trust herself with a job out in the field but she wanted to do something that made a difference. Teaching people how to protect themselves felt like a good way to do that.

“They want me to teach a handgun class specifically for women,” began Kate, “And I said I’d be happy to.”

Vega nodded. “Sounds like a really good gig. From most of what I’ve picked up about you from our few text conversations and this beginning of a date, it sounds very fitting for your skills.”

“I hope so,” began Kate, “I want to do well at it. Women really need to know how to protect themselves. Never know who they might be dealing with.” 

“Sounds like they’re a story behind that,” said Vega but he didn’t press for details.

Kate shrugged. “There is. Had a date that got a little…rough.” Memories of her scrambling for her gun when Ted attacked her came to mind.

“I’m sorry. Probably not the best thing to bring up.”

Kate just shook her head. “No it’s fine. It taught me you always have to be on guard. Not everyone’s who you think they are, Detective.”

“Who do you think I am?” asked Vega.

Kate studied him for second before answering. Vega hadn’t given off any strange vibes to her. In fact, Kate almost felt a little secure around him. “I think your just an average, overworked detective whose eaten nothing but takeout for the past few months and who tries to appear confident by asking out the witness to a robbery after just meeting her but is extremely surprised when she said yes.”

Vega gave a chuckle. “You sure hit the nail on the head, Ms. Macer.”

“Kate.”

Vega raised his eyebrow at her.

“You can call me Kate.”

“Call me Eduardo then,” said Vega with a smile which Kate couldn’t help but return.

*******

A few hours later, Vega was pulling up in front of Kate’s house. As they slowly approached her driveway she noticed a light coming from her living room window and immediately went on the alert.

She knew she’d turned everything off. And she automatically knew who had turned it on.

“Well, here we are,” began Vega as he pulled up in her driveway.

Kate nodded, absentmindedly, her thoughts still focused on what to do when she entered the house.

“You tired, Kate?”

Kate quickly jumped back to the conversation. “What?”

Vega stared at her, concerned for a moment. “I asked if you’re tired and I think that gave me my answer.”

“Sorry,” began Kate, “I’d invite you in but I really am tired.”

Vega just gave an awkward chuckle. “Is that how that sounded? That I wanted to come in?”

Kate just smiled as she popped the door open. “A little bit. But any other night I’ve probably have you come in.” 

Vega just grinned. “Will I be able to take you up on that another night?”

“Maybe,” said Kate, a flirtatious grin on her face. “I’ll see you later, Eduardo.”

Before she could completely exit his car, Vega gently grabbed her wrist. “Wait Kate.”

Kate turned back to him, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Can I kiss you?”

She stared at his somewhat sheepish look for a moment and smiled. She couldn’t believe this was the guy who had enough courage to ask her on a date after just meeting her. She found it kinda cute. So she quickly leaned in and gave him a soft kiss goodbye. When she pulled away, she couldn’t help but smile.

“Good night, Eduardo.”

He returned her smile. “Good night, Kate.”

As he drove away Kate made her way into her house, withdraw her gun from her purse when she reached the door. When she entered the living room, she held the gun up, ready to shoot but the only thing there was Nacho, sprawled out on her couch. He looked up at her, inquisitive, but then in a moment just returned to his napping.

Kate glanced around the living room but didn’t see anything that proved Alejandro had been there. She went through the entire rest of the house then poked around in the backyard and yet there was nothing. 

As she sat down on the couch she tried to tell herself she was just being paranoid. The obvious answer was that she’d left the light on in the living room by accident. 

She took a deep breath as she scooped up Nacho to take to her bed. Just when she thought she was finally getting patched up from everything that’d happened, he had to enter her life again and start turning her back into a mess. 

“But I won’t let that happen,” she mumbled to herself. “I’m not afraid anymore.”

She may not be a wolf yet but she certainly was no longer a rabbit. She was more like a dog now.

Dogs could put up a fight with wolves.


End file.
